Published On: Tue, Aug 15th, 2017

Clubs

Jacob Gelt DekkerAfter a drive-by shooting that killed at least four and wounded six at a glamour birthday party, supposedly, a local politician stated that Curacao has 58 criminal gangs, or in friendlier terms, let us call them Clubs; not 57 or 59, but 58 exactly. I tried to get membership lists and email addresses, but the politician has not replied to my emails yet.

A Club is exclusive and offers unique advantages and privileges to its members. Being a member of one of these Curacao Clubs is a fast track to great wealth and luxury, and a jet-setting lifestyle of glamour, glitter.

Competition for membership of these Clubs must be intensive. Who does not want such a career? So, how does a kid, just leaving school, go about it?

“Dad, after school, my special friends handed me eight offers from Clubs, which one should I choose??

You see, Club X, the sexist of all, only takes new members who bring their machine gun with ammunition and last year, you turned in all guns in our house so I cannot join them. That is bad.

And Club Y only takes you when you serve at least one year in prison. Could you organize that for me, Dad?

You know that guy who runs the jail, and one year is a great experience. You can be sure, that I pick up some tricks in jail and build up a great network. I want to be a member of Club Y; they are so super cool!”

“No son, you have to think about your future.

I do not care about guns or jail time.

The real question is, which Club brings you the most money? You know, your grandmother’s roof is leaking, and she needs a new roof. We, your parents, are getting older and want to retire in the country side. We want a new house, out of town and away from the refinery smoke.

So, I do not care about how cool the next Club is; I want you to look at how much money you can make, and make it quick!”

“What should I do then? Shall you go and ask some of the politicians where to go? They should know who pays out the most. You know all these guys.”

“Well son, you should realize that we islanders risk the lives of our precious next generation, of kids like you and your class mates, to satisfy the craving for cocaine of Macambas, here and in Europe.

We pay for their addiction with our blood, so it is not up to our politicians.

No, you should be able to get the best information from the Macambas who are here. They know where to get their daily dose, and which are the best Clubs, with the highest customer satisfaction, the least risk and noise and the biggest profits. Maybe, you should register as a “beursaal” student and fly to Holland. At least you get a lot of experience in flying back and forth and building up a network. You know, another politician said that at least 20% of all beursalen get into the business that way."

By Jacob Gelt Dekker
Columnist for Curaçao Chronicle

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