Published On: Wed, Apr 9th, 2014

5 biggest bikini faux pas: Are you guilty?

BikiniNot every bikini is right for everybody. When it comes to bathing suits, one size does not fit all, nor does one style. If you're confident enough to brave a bikini in public, you'll want to avoid these five embarrassing faux pas to attract the right kind of attention.

Side boob views, dental floss bottoms and muffin tops are just a few of the most common fashion flubs. Pair that with overly bright, blingy or strappy, and you have the formula for good bikinis gone bad.

Subtle, suitable and simply stylish is what you should actually be angling for this summer. It is possible to sizzle – you just need to know what is hot and what is not. One rule of thumb is to look before you leap into that two-piece. Before you hit the beach, take a good, honest look in the mirror and figure out if you're giving yourself a bum deal.

Are you guilty of these five bikini blunders?

Just Say No to Bikini Stuffing

If you've got an ample bosom, it's understandable that you might want to go loud and proud. However, squishing them into a top that's two sizes too small in an attempt to show cleavage will make them look deformed and downright garish. There's a lot to be said for having a good support system in place and leaving a little to the imagination. We've all heard the saying about having too much of a good thing, which is definitely applicable here.

Think you've got things covered with some small patches of fabric? Think again. There's a good chance your “girls” can put in a guest appearance at any time. If you're planning on swimming or doing any sort of water sports, a skimpy bikini top potentially could result in a major wardrobe malfunction.

BikiniMistakes.com has a few important words to the wise on the topic: “Here are some signs that your bikini top is too small:

  • You have sideboobs.
  • You have underboobs.
  • You have both sideboobs and underboobs.”

Boob spillage, bikini faux pas number one, is a major no-no. Go for adequate coverage, the kind that will keep the girls in their place.

Poorly Fitted or X-Rated Bottoms

No butts about it. Too little, too late. It's difficult to think of anything more unsettling at the beach than seeing women with generous derrières prancing around in string bikinis. Just because baby got back doesn't mean everybody needs to see it.

No matter the composition of your can, your bathing suit shouldn't be X-rated. In other words, all of your assets don't have to be on display. Dial it down, at least when you're out and about.

Of course, you also want to avoid the adverse effect, which is excessive coverage. If your bottom is too large or too loose, you might get the saggy diaper effect or find yourself always adjusting wedgies, which can be equally offensive. (Not exactly a very ladylike gesture to be caught doing in public.)

Ill-fitting bottoms are an easily avoidable bikini faux pas. Try the following tips to avoid bikini bottom blunders:

  • If you find yourself walking towards the selection of virtually backless bikinis, hightail it in the other direction. Thongs are for the bedroom, not family beaches and community pools. Of course, when in France…
  • Opt for a bikini that covers the important areas and hugs them firmly but not overly tightly. Too small of a bottom will create a mad case of muffin top.
  • If you have large hips, try a bikini bottom with adjustable ties, which will accommodate your shape.
  • If you have a boyish shape, make ruffles or boy shorts your go-to styles. These give the appearance of curves.
  • For the pear-shaped peeps out there, sleek, simple, dark-colored bottoms draw attention away from the area and create better balance.

The only way to know if the bikini is suitable is to try it on in the store. Take an objective look at yourself and move around a little bit in front of the mirror. If everything stays in place, you're in good shape.

Cover-Ups that Don't Cover Up

Women don the conventional cover-ups for several reasons. For some, it's the convenience of having something to throw on quickly. Others rely on cover-ups to hide the flaws you don't want to flaunt. Here's the skinny on cover-ups – don't miss the whole point of a cover-up by wearing one that doesn't actually cover anything up.

Lacy, holey and completely see-through cover-ups essentially defeat the purpose. We're not suggesting you don a huge, ugly t-shirt as a cover-up, either. There are plenty of cute, fashionable cover-ups on the market that are perfect for the beach and the street.

For tasteful, stylish cover-ups, consider these attractive options:

  • lightweight satin ombré pants;
  • an off-the-shoulder, short cotton dress;
  • a long, flowing, draping, lightweight dress;
  • a strapless romper;
  • a graphic t-shirt dress;
  • a smock-topped short dress; or
  • a layered mini-dress.

Weird, Gaudy and Inappropriate Fashions

Bikinis attract a lot of attention – it's a fact. So there's no need to wear something odd or over-the-top. Unfortunately, there are a lot of women strutting around in some embarrassingly garish fashions. Some of the bikini fashions to steer clear of include:

  • bikinis with too many straps (Dozens of straps are distracting. Plus, they leave a horrible maze of tan lines.);
  • costume-themed bikinis (e.g., tutus, cartoon characters);
  • suits with bling (Lots of sequins, chains or gold embellishments can appear gaudy);
  • distracting, ugly, outdated or overly youthful prints (leopard print, polka-dots, '80s florals, etc.); and
  • bizarre designs (micro monokinis, suits that draw attention to the nether region, etc.).

Leaving Nothing to the Imagination

The last bikini faux pas is essentially a combination of mistakes one and two. We're talking about giving people the big reveal – on top AND bottom. That's right -- two-for-the-price-of-one. Look, a day at the beach should be just that. You're not out to give the general public a peep show. So why not keep it classy?

Nobody needs to see your entire derriere, or 9/10 of your chest. Tops that barely cover the nipples or bottoms consisting a mere 2.2 centimeters-triangle are a little too risqué for the beach and can appear flat-out trashy.

This goes for bikinis that mimic lingerie. Tops with bra-like adjustable straps and lacy bottoms look awkward in public. A general rule of thumb is that if it looks like a bra or panties, treat it like one and only wear it underclothing.

Take a few moments and ask yourself if you are, in fact, guilty of any of these five bikini faux pas. Remember, your bikini should accentuate your positive characteristics, not distract with the kind of attention earned by exotic dancers and street walkers. Settle on a bikini that's simple, tasteful and suits your personal sense of style.

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