Published On: Sat, Oct 27th, 2018

Gay parenting

gay parentingArticle 16 of the universal declaration of human rights states that” Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family”, logically it means that gay marriage is recognized as legal which is the case so far in few countries around the world, while there are still a wide majority of people seeing marriage as  the loop that connects naturally a male ,a female and an offspring forming a social institution with a biological foundation rather than being a social invention ,not trying here to pinpoint whose right or wrong, the debate in itself carries a lot of controversy, the ones who support same-sex marriage argue that love is enough to get  married regardless of sexual orientation and those who are opposed have concerns about raising children in a same sex parent family.

Alas gay marriage fosters sometimes a disorientation between homosexual marriage and giving priority to children's rights in regard to every child’s fundamental right to know and be with his or her biological parents,

A quick read of the history of marriage shows that it has evolved from a traditional conception into a phenomenal occurrence, decades of social science research has indicated that the best environment for raising children is having two loving parents, a man and a woman , in a stable relationship, and that the life between mother and baby is the most profound human bond that will be denied in homosexual marriage where there is a man to man relationship, and that a girl needs her father figure as well in a woman to woman marriage.

The British famous singer Elton John 71 y old and husband  David Furnish 55, entered into a civil partnership in December 2005 in England, they welcomed their first son Zachary five years later in California via surrogacy, followed by their second son Elijah in January 2013 through the same surrogate, in an interview recently he stated that he was thinking of retiring to give time to his family being a loving dads both him and his partner.

In Lesbian marriage there is vitro fertilization where mature eggs are collected  from ovaries and fertilized by sperm in a lab, and a surrogate woman is the one who agrees to become pregnant in order to give the baby to someone who cannot have children, the main concern that emerge in such situation, are those children happy and protected same as those who are raised in a mother-father family? Are their basic needs provided? And where is the woman role in raising her child? What will happen to the words Mummy & Daddy?

Studies and global research have shown that stability in marriage is very important for the children in their early childhood, including the quality of parenting and wellbeing and that their development seems to be influenced more by the nature of the relationship within the family rather than by the structural form it takes, whether it is consisted of same sex or heterosexual partners, also they emphasize that it is not the same sex parents that are harming children in society ,on the contrary it is discrimination and bullying that cause distress and a sense of shame .

On the other end of the same knot some sociologists still argue that there is difference in the gender identity development between the children of homosexual parents and those of heterosexual parents, they assessed The children’s physical environment by how masculine or feminine their attitudes and behavior are, and found out that regardless of sexual orientation the parents who hold more liberal attitudes about gender and provide environment with few gender stereotypes (pink or blue room/boys and girls toys…)have their children also with the same attitude , they describe gay marriage as de-gendering marriage, neutralizing social and cultural thinking related.

The pros and cons collides in this disputable right of having or not having children in a same sex marriage and the world will never be able to join efforts to reach a common understanding as long as science, religion and society are pulling the cords  knot in all directions, some fear God and favor the sacred notion of family that consists of a bond of a man and a woman, others are pessimistic about what type of generation will be brought into the society, and the rest is defending the right to choose .

At the end the same-sex marriage is not just about the equality claims of homosexual people, if it is only related to them then it is fairly equal but when It’s more importantly related to the fundamental rights of children in relation to their parents then we are facing a conflict between children's rights and adults' claims, which one must rule? Can same sex marriage protect children ‘rights? It is either to be aware of all consequences of same sex marriage on children comparing to heterosexual marriage or having the children  put at risk to fight their own battle for later on.

© ReinaSankari 2018

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